YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO LIVE ON THE BRIDGE |  Blogging Univ. Writing 101 Day 19 – MY LATEST #BLOG


SO darn grateful for a free writing assignment today! I get to write whatever comes to mind, say what I want, say what I feel & how I feel it. The only rules are there are no rules…including my being obsessed with grammar or punctuation. 

DOPENESS

I’m always changing my Twitter profile picture. I bore very easily. It’s a wonder I’ve maintained some things as long as I have. Perhaps it’s my being what they call a ride or die chick, a loyalist or I don’t know….someone you definitely want in your corner. When I rock wit’ chu, I rock hard from the core. I don’t have the energy to rock more than one face so you never have to wonder… if I said it I meant it. And you didn’t have to hear it second hand either…

So what’s the flip side of being ride or die? For those of us who take enduring hardness as a good soldier seriously. Those of us who are used to just sticking it out, no matter the toll it takes on us.  From apologizing to strangers about falling behind on Writing 101 assignments to staying in places we shoulda left a long time ago. For us, committing to something comes from a deeper place. It’s why we end up staying with people and doing things…waaaay past the expiration date. You know…that moment when you forget why you even started riding and why you allowed so much of you to die along the way. 

We were never meant to live on the bridge. 

A bridge is defined by Dictionary.com as “a connecting, transitional route or phase between two adjacent activities or conditions

Just as old habits die hard and addictions are relentless in refusing to let us go, we too have things in our lives that we know we should’ve ended a long time ago. How many nouns; people, places or things, were meant to only be temporary in our lives but we refused to let go?
Nouns that were meant to just “hold you over” until you can climb over? It was a donut but you treated it like a permanent tire. It was meant to be urgent care not chronic care. The Emergency Rooms of life are not meant to fill in the gaps. That relationship was designed to revive you not sustain you…and you know it. So why are you settling? Why DON’T you deserve better than that? Why can’t it be your turn? Why not you?! Shoooot why not me?!

My disclaimer is I’m not telling you to quit your job today. I’m not telling you to serve your spouse with divorce papers or move across country. ‘Cause wherever you go…there will there you will be…everyone can’t be wrong, it just might be you. It makes no sense to have to take the same life test all over again in another location. Maybe…just maybe, some things are reoccurring because you just need to deal with it. 

You were never meant to live on the bridge. 

YOU know where you are and YOU know if you stayed too long…


Peace,


e


© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Photo Credit topbet.euNo copyright infringement intended. 

  

This assignment was difficult because it’s a question I’ve always found oddly intrusive. Though I would’ve preferred to repost my true story Afraid To Live, Too Scared To Die I’d be forfeiting an opportunity to birth a new piece, in my voice, remaining true to my style of writing as requested. So here it goes…

                             ~


Already Gone

I want to be the only one
Who causes your heart to seek the Son
Who gives your mind a race to run
Your soul untied, unknotted, undone 

I want to be pursued and chosen
Selected with care you pause and choose when 
Options attempt to cloud your decision 
but you hone in on me 
with laser precision 

Now I’m deliberately wanted
Closing the door on more
The only one you let in
Now intentionally spoken for

Intensely inclusive 
Never elusive 
Strictly exclusive but
Now your pensive

I’m afraid…

Afraid that which I fear the most
has already come
You’ve lost your appetite for me
Now craving some other one 

Your affection not far behind 
I’m reaching…grasping
While slipping your mind
Our love is now lacking

You’re changing
With sensitivity of sandpaper 
and tone now abrupt 
Insinuating its over
You’ve all but given up

You’ve become so controlling 
Watching my every move

You don’t care if I lose…. 

As long as I don’t lose interest in you

You do and say as you please
Keep treating me so wrong
They say long before they leave
They’re already gone 

Already gone
You’re here but you’ve left
that which I fear the most
My heart gone…

Your crime? 

Major theft 



© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

No Copyright Infringement Intended

A MUST READ… I will share this with whoever will listen. This is a true story that needs to be heard. After it blesses you… Please share it as well.

Much love,

e

Vanessa Mártir's Blog

I presented this keynote at on April 23, 2015 at the annual 100 Hispanic Women Mind, Body and Spirit Conference in Yankee Stadium. The theme this year was The Transformational Power of Love.

I’m a storyteller so today I’m going to tell you stories.

I’ve been struggling with this speech for weeks. I started it at least twenty times. I asked my friends “What’s love to you? How has it transformed you?” Most of them sent me sappy love poems and stories about romantic love, which is great but, honestly, that’s not what I was looking for. Last night I took my daughter out to eat. It’s the second day of the math statewide exams so I wanted to do something special for her, and, yes, it gave me reason to keep procrastinating on writing this. I asked her, “What’s love, baby girl?” She said, “Love is when you have…

View original post 3,570 more words

It didn’t work out the first time. Well, we had no business trying to work it out the first time since he wasn’t working it out by himself when I found him. 

Ya dig?

One year later and working it out by himself, he returns proud that he has found himself. Only I wasn’t looking nor was I looking to be found…this time. Even though he was still looking like he was looking when I found him the first time.

Hmmm & oh my!

So we tried looking into each other’s eyes again; except this time, he thought finding himself before he found me, I would find myself unworthy to be found. I found that insulting. However since I had not found myself, I didn’t know I was open to being found exactly how he left me…a keyless entry. 

Rock with me…won’t cha?

Yeah see, it’s a situation (pronounced si-choo-a-shun) when they make you feel as though you should feel lucky because they want to feel you. If you’ve not found yourself, before your found, you don’t realize you deserve to be felt without being touched. 

Ahhh did you get that?

Yeah so reconnecting went horribly wrong because in short, he short circuited my circuit. Oh no…not due to overheating. Ya see, his auto generated pseudo power was fueled by an inflated ego coupled with sketchy alibis. Turns out I wasn’t the only one he went looking for when he went looking. When he found me, he saw me as undeserving and though she was unaware he went looking for others, I found her deserving better than he. 

Good thing I had an omnipotent Back Up Generator huh? Never to be my back up againever. He’s now my sole source of ever flowing power.  Self existent but not self absorbed. Able to sustain me…no longer a keyless entry. 

Connection secure. 

Deemed undeserving but freed…and now found free, found serving…

No longer under foot. 


© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credit:

SparksinSpain.es

No Copyright Infringement Intended

Your Voice Will Find You

Having just shared yesterday from the deepest places of my heart in THE DAY I FOUND MY VOICE, I was determined to keep my Day 15 Assignment very simple. So glad you’re here…

My Voice
It’s not better than yours
No matter what they say
It’s just different
Raspy in the morning
Emanating my signature sound
Like no other
Including yours
Not better than mine
No matter what they say
Just different
If we could all
Have a moment
At the mic
Behind the podium
On the dais
Front and centerstage
Not just heard
But listened to
It would be…

V – Valued
O – Oppressed no more
I – Insightful
C – Courageous
(And we’d remember that…)
E – Every single one matters.

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content


Photo Credit:

Model: Kamilah Cyree – Singer/Songwriter and one of my best friends

Photographer: Carlton Omari Murph @hp_ent on IG
No Copyright Infringement Intended

 
Dear Isaac
Blogging Univ. Writing 101, Day 14 Assignment

Book: Illustrated Manners and Customs of the Bible

Page: 29
Word: Isaac
    1. “In Hebrew the meaning of the name Isaac is: He laughs. Laughter. The only son born to Abraham and his wife Sarah (in the Old Testament). Famous Bearers: British scientist Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727) and the great violinist Itzhak Perlman.”
  • Source: Isaac name meaning – SheKnows

    www.sheknows.com › baby-names › isaac


    Dear Isaac,

    Nah that’s way too formal for us!
    The greeting should read “Hello Laughter!” instead, right? We go way back like lazy boy chairs in a 1968 family den.  Oh how I’ve missed you so! I could not imagine my life without you! We have had some incredible times together, especially with your cousins Chuckle, Jovial, and Hilarious! Woe unto those who try to break up that crew when on a roll eh?

    How is your sister Joy and your little brother Happiness? Last time I saw them they were transitioning to higher heights! Working that circuit on their highly coveted world tour! From flower deliveries, surprise birthday parties, visiting the sick, entertaining the troops to late night TV!

    I’m thrilled for you too. You’re in a tough business and your ratings have skyrocketed. You have gained new fans who are loyal to you in an effort to escape all the horrible news that floods the airwaves! I keep meaning to ask you if you’re paid royalties every time someone writes “LOL!” or “LMBO!” or “ROFL!”! If so, I am in the wrong business for sure!

    Well I’ve kept you long enough! Im gonna let you get back to work and I can’t wait to see you again. Oh and congratulations on your newborn twins, Giggles! They both have your eyes!

    Forever yours.

    e

    © Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015
    Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

    Photo credit: MedicalSolutions. No copyright infringement intended. 

THE DAY I FOUND MY VOICE

Ever have one of those nightmares? The kind where you can’t move or speak. It’s as though you’re being pinned down by a heavy weight. You wrestle and squirm underneath the unseen heaviness. Held down by the invisible, tossing, turning. Bound.

I’ve been there. Literally.

You try to scream. You can’t part your lips. A crowbar couldn’t pry your mouth open. The jaws of life are unable to bring life. You’re muffled. You’re muted. You’re voiceless.

I’ve been there. Literally and as a euphemism.

I didn’t know I had lost my voice until that glowing glimmer in my eyes began to fade. My eyes. They saw too much. They saw what they were never meant to see. Left glassy, stoic, bitter, cynical and seeing but void of vision, my eyes mimicked the vice around my vocal chords. Tightly squeezed shut and left for dead.

I didn’t know I had lost my voice and that my prayers, now numb, obligatory and sporadic, had become silent. I didn’t realize I had stopped crying out to the Lord. I didn’t realize I had stopped crying.

Subtle movements, as though one in a coma, went undetected by those moving around me at warped speed. My responses, if any, were at a snail’s pace. In shock. Damaged. Stuck. Bound. Immobile while moving. Had to move…’cause life kept moving. Life made it clear that it would. With or without me.

Then I was on my way to work one day. Pouring out my laundry lists of complaints to the Lord that had started off as a half hearted prayer of thanksgiving and request for protection. I got an email alert on my phone from my friend Tamika Patton, a recording artist back on the east coast. It was unusual for her to contact me that time of day. She’s a homegirl of mine that falls in the category of friends that you don’t see or talk to that often, but you can pick up right where you left off no matter how long it’s been. Every single interaction with her has been authentic, drama free, educational, vibrant, fun and inspiring. It had been some time since we’d spoke. Quite a while.

However on that day, September 18, 2012 at 7:33 am her email had a different tone. I pulled over to the side of the road to read it and the unrequested, unexpected, healing words of life and encouragement she wrote, resuscitated me. She had no idea I had flatlined. Smiling but flatlined. Laughing and flatlined. Going to work every day but flatlined. Never missing a Sunday at church but flatlined. Still married, still mothering, still there for everyone else but flatlined. Oft referred to as “leading while bleeding”. Speaking but voiceless.

She wrote, “Every now and then, you are divinely blessed to meet someone that is a well of water, an angel on earth that speaks life to your spirit and rejuvenation at precise moments in your life that only you and the Father know about…”

She was referring to me but didn’t know this was one of the moments and that she was my earth angel.  She spoke life to my spirit and rejuvenation at the precise moment in my life I needed it most. That priceless, life changing moment…and only the Father and I knew.
And then… as a newborn baby, with its nose and mouth gently suctioned, my lungs were jolted and I began to cry. As one who travailed, these tears were different.

They were encased in a sound that had once again been found…

Superimposed with hope as though it had no choice…ahhh there it is…there it is…
MY  V O I C E…

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

*Photo Credit http://www.TamikaPatton.com. No copyright infringement intended.

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES!

Ah kid’s say the darnedest things don’t they? When first born, they’re so cute, and seemingly innocent! Such as this adorable bundle of joy pictured above! Just breathtaking!

That is until you’re gasping for air because of something they’ve said that made you want to crawl underneath the nearest chair and hide!

My mom said I had a knack for such moments (je vous demande pardon)! That’s Google French for ‘I beg your pardon’ by the way. So on this particular sunny Sunday afternoon, I was so proud of the tooth I had lost and the shiny new quarter I got in return. I was six years old and becoming a big girl!

Mommy stood outside of the church after service talking to *Deacon Bartholomew. They were going on and on about how glorious a day it was! Well when he smiled a huge toothless grin, I thought it only fitting to ask, “Deacon Bartholomew! Did the tooth fairy come to you too last night?!”

All the earth grew still. It was so quiet you could hear a rat pee on cotton. My mother turned around in slow motion like the girl in the movie The Exorcist. She gave me the ‘Big Momma, what did you say out your face little girl?! Lord take me now!’ side eye. The Deacon’s face went from, “Hip Hip Hallelujah!” to the Scooby Doo “Uh oh” with the quickness! Their Holy laughter became a combination of Charlie Brown’s teacher with your blind date having a a red oily zit on the tip of their nose and spinach in their teeth kinda awkward.

Needless to say when my mother finally picked her jaw up off her chest and brought her eyebrows down from the back of her head, she begged his pardon and not in French may I add.

Though she gave me a firm talking to on the way home, she was loving as always. Now that I’m a parent and have experienced similar situations it’s fair to say she may have had a few ‘pardon my French Lord’ moments in her head!

Oh and Deacon Bartholomew? He still continued to be as friendly as ever after that! Though I can’t say I remember him smiling at me anymore…

Would you?😉

©Ericka Arthur and authenticitee, 2015

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

**Photo Credit Wallspick. No copyright infringement intended.

WOW! MY VERSATILE BLOG AWARDS BUT OUR PARTY!

These last two weeks have been a blur! My birthday was April 14th and the love has not stopped pouring in. Blogging University Writing 101 has been awesome and I’ve met some great people there.

I can truly say that I am BEYOND blown away by the appreciation, encouragement and recognition, my 4 month old blog has received! Still soaring from the Liebster Award I was nominated for a few days ago by the stunning Gina, I’ve just been nominated for not one but two Versatile Blog Awards in the last two days!

The first nomination came from the beautiful Sabrina and the second from the beautiful Sherina! Their names are highlighted for a reason!

implore thee, whenever you get a spare moment, please check out the three aforementioned blogs…you will not be disappointed!

That being said, it’s official! I’m so overwhelmed by the AMAZING back to back recognition; my introvertedness has been triggered! (that is a word by the way, well depending on who you’re talking to lol). I can feel myself retrieving back into my turtle shell of safety because I don’t do very well on the receiving end of recognition. I’m more comfortable giving than receiving. There is no pressure to accept these awards as we know, but I am very honored and humbled to do so!

That being said, I will graciously bow out going forward, to make room for the thousands of unrecognized voices out there! I hereby declare authenticitee an Award Free blog! A million thanks you’s & cyber bear hugs to my incredible readers and supporters. You are honestly THE BEST.

So let’s get started! You know I like it a wee bit edgy at times, so instead of nominating just a few others as requested, I’d like to turn this into OUR PARTY!  

This is the first Blog Party I’ve thrown and I’m SUPER excited! No cliques here! All are welcome! This is a Shade Free Zone! The blog party is a sweet idea and I’ve been invited to & attended some great ones hosted by AMommasWiew and Princess Kick A$$!

Be sure to check them out too!

I’d like to #PayItForward by opening up the comment section below for you to post 2 things! #1 The country/island you’re blogging from and #2 a short link to one of your favorite posts you’ve read on someone else’s blog

**Feel free to reblog this and share with others so THEY can have a moment to shine as well!**

Finally…(Drumroll please!) I’ve combined my responses to both Versatile Blog Award Nominations below!  Thanks again & enjoy!

7 Things About Me

 

1- Married to a professional musician for 17 years and yes I have stories for days Lol!

2- We have two children, a 13 yr old girl & an 11 yr old boy. Our miracles!

 3- I’m a singer/songwriter who prefers to sing live than record in a studio any day. Studio recording stresses me out!

4- I’m a #SapioLexophile and am probably the only one using that contrived hashtag on Twitter LOL!

5- I’m just returning to social media after a 5 year hiatus which is why I’m only on Twitter with zero interest in FB & IG!

6- Love to laugh! The wittier and more clever the better!

7- I’m a relatively new volunteer Suicide Crisis Hotline Counselor!

THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!

Peer pressure does not stop when you become an adult. Hence the term I grew up hearing, ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’. The multimillion dollar hair, makeup, fashion and plastic surgery industries suggest that we be the best imitation of our idol that we can afford. Or heck at least die trying…literally.

I’m in awe of how technology has not only surpassed our expectations; its helped shape them too. When we meet people for the first time, we are disappointed that they don’t look like their photo. It’s very rare these days to hear the phrase,” Wow, you are much prettier (or handsome) in person! Your picture doesn’t do you any justice!” Now when we hear the term, “Oh you’re so photogenic!”, we say thank you but are really thinking to ourselves, “Yeesh is that code for ugly in person?!” Our obsession with our appearance has gone haywire. It’s become the hottest topic of conversation, a consistent New Year’s resolution and a factor in whether or not one is bullied (if they’re paid any attention at all).

Though I have alluded to this topic before in my previous post Owning Our Stripesmy awareness of these modern-day pressures affecting both young and old alike has heightened. Now I admit…my being married and with the same man for the last 21 years has affected my street cred just a bit. I’m respected by my single friends for the longevity of our relationship but told I have no idea how rough it is out there. So I thought about it…

If I wanted to give a good impression to someone I never met before, which picture would I show or send? My photo on the left shows the real me. It’s displaying my dark circles, no makeup, skin imperfections etc. By looking at that photo you can’t see that I’m Plus Size and you certainly can’t see what I’m working with (or in my case not working with) down below LOL! Whereas my picture on the right has this neat filter feature overlaying it. To the untrained eye it would appear as though my makeup game was on point! But its not. Sure it’s a polished picture but I am no where that polished looking in person…even with make up on!

No worries. There’s an app for that. 

We are growing so accustomed to working on how we look instead of developing who we are. Looking the part and lacking the power. Perfecting the presentation and hoping the audience never peeks backstage. Are you up for the challenge? Certainly we should strive to be the best we can be in every area of our lives. This includes (in no particular order) emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially and physically. It is a way of honoring our God-given temple and not just saying thank you for the life we have but showing our gratitude by taking better care of ourselves.

There does come a time however when we have to deal with who we really are. Rolling up our sleeves, discerning the difference between criticism designed to crush our spirit and critique offered to feed our soul. A time where we silence the voice of the naysayers, endure the growing pains and anticipate seeing the finished product of the best we, that we can be. Not the optical illusion of what that looks like.

(Sigh) LifeI’m actually quite relieved there’s no app for that. Here’s to OUR living it to the fullest starting in 5-4-3-2-1…NOW. 

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee2015

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.