OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES!
Ah kid’s say the darnedest things don’t they? When first born, they’re so cute, and seemingly innocent! Such as this adorable bundle of joy pictured above! Just breathtaking!
That is until you’re gasping for air because of something they’ve said that made you want to crawl underneath the nearest chair and hide!
My mom said I had a knack for such moments (je vous demande pardon)! That’s Google French for ‘I beg your pardon’ by the way. So on this particular sunny Sunday afternoon, I was so proud of the tooth I had lost and the shiny new quarter I got in return. I was six years old and becoming a big girl!
Mommy stood outside of the church after service talking to *Deacon Bartholomew. They were going on and on about how glorious a day it was! Well when he smiled a huge toothless grin, I thought it only fitting to ask, “Deacon Bartholomew! Did the tooth fairy come to you too last night?!”
All the earth grew still. It was so quiet you could hear a rat pee on cotton. My mother turned around in slow motion like the girl in the movie The Exorcist. She gave me the ‘Big Momma, what did you say out your face little girl?! Lord take me now!’ side eye. The Deacon’s face went from, “Hip Hip Hallelujah!” to the Scooby Doo “Uh oh” with the quickness! Their Holy laughter became a combination of Charlie Brown’s teacher with your blind date having a a red oily zit on the tip of their nose and spinach in their teeth kinda awkward.
Needless to say when my mother finally picked her jaw up off her chest and brought her eyebrows down from the back of her head, she begged his pardon and not in French may I add.
Though she gave me a firm talking to on the way home, she was loving as always. Now that I’m a parent and have experienced similar situations it’s fair to say she may have had a few ‘pardon my French Lord’ moments in her head!
Oh and Deacon Bartholomew? He still continued to be as friendly as ever after that! Though I can’t say I remember him smiling at me anymore…
©Ericka Arthur and authenticitee, 2015
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**Photo Credit Wallspick. No copyright infringement intended.