(Sigh) Our exes. Can’t live with them and our story is quite bland without them. Long after they’re gone we still feel the need to impress them. Still feel the need to make sure THEY somehow know we are doing even BETTER without them! Why is that?!

(Exhale) Maybe it all has to do with HOW it ended. You know. If it was a pleasant, soft hearted, genuine and mutual parting of the ways. The kind of break up where even the term “break up” just sounds so harsh. You can’t help but still have hope. The letter you leave in their mailbox may read:

Dear Yummy,

Remember I used to call you that all the time? You would blush and turn your head as though you were shy. You were anything but. I loved speaking to the Mighty Warrior in you. Hearing your ROAR. Falling in love with the potential you had and honored by your willingness to allow me to call it forth. I loved how you asked if your dimple could have a word with my mole. I miss you, still love you and still want you.




(Breathe) Oh but if it was rough, tumultuous, rocky and left a horrible taste in your mouth? The letter you leave on their windshield you just cracked may read:

Hey Limp Biscuit!

If you ever come to my house again I will not only call the cops I will call your minimum wage job and tell them I did. The last two years of my life were a complete utter waste of my time! I hated the shape of your head, that dead front tooth and your obnoxious laugh. I even hated your raggedy apartment. The strongest thing in it wasn’t even you. It was that weak behind coffee you used to make and the odor emanating from your feet! Don’t just lose my number, delete every memory we’ve ever shared. Those files were corrupted because of you BEING a virus.

-Your Loss

(Reflect) Why do we even care?! They are our exes for a reason! How is it that we feel we have to impress them, in order to get them and still want to impress them after they’re gone? No matter why they’re gone. I’ve even heard it said, “Never let your ex see you doing or looking bad!” Are we so riddled with rejection and insecurity that we can’t function without being endorsed by the one who’s moved on, the one who got away or even the loser we got rid of?

 We post subliminal comments on Social Media hoping they’ll read it and flawless photos of ourselves hoping they’ll “like” them! Not even realizing that they have muted you on Twitter and hidden your updates from their timeline on Facebook. That’s IF they haven’t blocked you.  Posting encrypted messages referring to inside jokes and better days gone by. 

And we text. Knowing they got it and HOPING to see these little dots! 


Even if we were the one that um (clears throat) lost it… 

 What is that about?! No really the lines are now open.

Talk to me! I would love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to share as usual. Remember this is a shade free/no judgment zone! Ahhh this should fun and interesting…

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee, 2015
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credits: 1,2- Unknown 3-Quick Meme 4- My Tumbling Thoughts 5-Ericka Arthur 6-Unknown 


  1. Ma’am! Always on point. let me preface these comments with, I’m a strange bird, I’m totally not the norm when it comes to 1. being girly and 2.touchy feely feelings. With that said… chile I rejoice errday I ain’t with my ex! I’m not interested in what he thinks or feels about me. I genuinely want him to be healed and whole. That alone is by the grace of GOD!!!! And if he does get healed …. Great! hopefully he’ll make someone very happy. (that goes for anyone who falls in the category of ex in my life btw) There is a reason it didn’t work out! And I quote, ” They are our exes for a reason!”. Howseneva I coulda used that Limp Biscuit letter upon initial breakup… ijs.

    Super Dee Duper Love ya E!!! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you SO much! I’m still married over 17 yrs and have been with my husband over 21 lol! It’s a lighthearted spin on things😉

      You’re the best!


      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good questions and good thoughts. Why do we reflect on anything in the past? Whether it’s a person, a place, or even ourselves. We romanticize and forget what was then and what we have now. 🙂 This was good, though. Very funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ugh! Why sis why?!

    I just don’t know. Perhaps its when you feel as if you didn’t just lose a relationship but a best friend and you didn’t just lose someone, you lost a bit of yourself as well. That you can’t even hate them. Because they’re a part of not just the bad but so much good in your life. You don’t want to impress them or even let them see you doing well, you want what you’re feeling to be what they’re feeling too. Because people can love you truly but still express it differently and in their own way. And you’re still happy to have loved them even long after they’re gone.

    Thanks for the smile. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your introducing that thought…

      The thought that says because you were so close at one time, that a part of YOU is now missing. So you find yourself looking in the rearview mirror for bits and pieces of who you were. I get it! Great contribution.

      So glad you smiled. (You deserve that and more Queen😉)


      Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s great. I’ve fallen in that trap before so then I blocked their posts so I wouldn’t think about it. The majority of my thoughts have been that I wish them well and happiness but a few thoughts are that I hope they think the same of the.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there Rob so glad to hear you enjoyed it! I thought of you while including the Dumb & Dumber reference photo too! LOL

      Thx so much for reading! Loving your new avi btw!


      Liked by 1 person

  5. Very funny! : ) I had a dream moment of letting my ex know all was good in my life when he emailed after many years asking “…why is it I don’t know anything about your life anymore”. Well, at the time, it was just weeks before the birth of my baby, and months after having bought a house with my wonderful man, so I filled him in on all that he didn’t know hehe. I have to admit though, I was hoping that he was in a happy place too, but there was no looking back for me!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, no matter how much I had thought about hoping he’d regret what happened and even wishing he’d suffer at the time of the extended break up, I didn’t really feel that in the end…

        Not sure I’ve commented in your posts till today- I’ve been an invisible reader- I like your writing style!

        Liked by 1 person

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