When I was a small child, I made an embarrassing statement in ignorance that I was quickly chastised for. After being taught the definition of the word ‘paralyzed‘; I soon followed with a wish to be just that. Horrified by my statement, my Mom, a young widow at the time, immediately corrected me. Once I fully understood the lack of wisdom in my reasoning I quickly apologized to God without her prompting, canceling the request; retrieving it from the atmosphere. Snatching it back from the sky with a vengeance.
My rationale however? I just didn’t want to feel pain.
Even at a young age I had learned the then perceived value of apathy and the perks of being numb. Something about being stoic served as both guarantor and notice that I was present but impenetrable. Of course life continued to happen and I evolved. Feelings snowballing, heart exposed whether I wore sleeves or not…
I later learned. It’s a sign. It lets us know that we’re still here. No. We shouldn’t be gluttons for punishment or so used to it that abuse feels like love. But when we check out of life to the point that we’re going through the motions and sorting through our collections of masks to wear because pain has shut us down? Like a power outage during the worst of storms? When the pain is so bad we black out? So bad to the point that we can no longer feel?
Perhaps we should take a moment, breathe, and ask ourselves, “When was the last time I felt…anything at all?”
Love you to life🌹e
© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee, 2015, 2016 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original
Quote on Photo- Ericka Arthur for @authenticiteespeaks on Instagram
Background photo credit Pixaby. No copyright infringement intended.