LIVESTREAM ON FACEBOOK LIVE TODAY!

Join my big brother George Ward & I today Saturday June 9, 2108 at 3:30pm EST, as we have a laid back but necessary heart to heart about Suicide Awareness & Prevention. We will be discussing real life issues and providing resources💫e

Tune in Live by Clicking the Link Below:

https://www.facebook.com/Spiritandtruth3/

If you’re not on Facebook – stay tuned for highlights💫e

Blessings!

e of @authenticiteespeaks

IG | FB @AuthenticiteeSpeaks

Twitter | @Authenticitee

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Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

e

If you are new here, WELCOME! I could not help but notice the sudden influx of a few new faces! I would love to hear your story, a little about your blog and how you discovered Authenticitee Speaks!

I’ve thrown Blog Parties in the past and found it to be a wonderful opportunity for bloggers to meet one another. Though Authenticitee Speaks has been an awards free blog for a couple of years, I still remember my first nomination! Blog Awards are also a great way to discover great writing. So feel free to share, reblog and invite others! Don’t be shy. Thank you for stopping by!

Blessings!

e of @authenticiteespeaks

IG | FB @AuthenticiteeSpeaks

Twitter | @Authenticitee

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

e

ARE YOU HAPPY?

Someone I hadn’t seen in years. Maybe like 8 years. Asked me if I was happy this past weekend. My usual response is “Happiness is based on happenings.” See I’m all heart, a skeptic, very guarded, an introvert and very private in nature. I find that because I’m kind and give direct eye contact; it’s often interpreted as being “open”. I am not.

But I like this person. A lot actually. Though mere acquaintances; I wasn’t offended. Though many go by what they overhear or what they try to piece together from social media; I believe this question came from a genuine space.

There was a time I would really ponder that question, which is bizarre to ask when just “running” into someone. I’m deep. A thinker. So the question felt very intrusive to me. Though I genuinely do not feel it was meant to be. No love lost. No grudges held. No overthinking will overtake me. But I do know this. Every question asked does not have to be answered.

I chose however to respond honestly: “I’m in a good space” and the response was, “You look like it. You look good”. I know there are many who are not happy. They ask my secret. The joy of the Lord keeps me in moments where happiness has failed me. Praying your happenings evolve into happiness and your joy remains.

Thank you for being here! New here? Welcome!

Blessings!

e of @authenticiteespeaks

IG | FB @AuthenticiteeSpeaks

Twitter | @Authenticitee

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Photo credit Unknown: No copyright infringement intended.

Super excited about this #WriterCrushWednesday featured poet! Unlike most of the writers featured I did not meet this poet via Instagram’s thriving Writing Community.

I can’t really say how I learned of his work. I’m guessing the occasional “scroll, skip, skip, scroll” method of discovery served me well the moment I landed in his world here on WordPress.

Surely this is not a teenager writing with this much depth, I thought. Mesmerized by his gift, I instantly became a fan. Devereaux Frazier is a genius. Yep. A genius. After all that’s how I chose to rationalize the indelible impression he had made.

Scroll, click, click, scroll.

Um wait there’s more? More than a genius? Oh. A genius who had recently learned that he was autistic.

He Speaks…

I Have Aspergers, And I Hate Myself Most Of The Time

So, where did we leave off

My eyes always drift

to the edges of the room

which is probably why everything

always seems to end so soon

Oops, I guess I forgot to say

that I have Aspergers

so I really don’t understand your way

I’m on the autism spectrum

and I hate myself most of the time

I hate having no intuition

and struggling around my peers

While others are deep in conversation

I sit in a corner, trapped by lumbering fears

I hate not looking into your eyes

and as you wonder what’s wrong with me

I wonder why

I hate being the last to speak, the last to be heard

because I hate the crowd, and stray from the herd

to the edges of the fields to think

I hate being so obscene in the wake of surprise

awakening a manic rage

and other times, I cry

But over it all

I hate how helpless I feel

being so unable to control my emotions

and my motions

drive people away

Tap

tap

tap

I hear what you say

but don’t hear what you mean

Tap

tap

tap

I hear what you say

but is it what it seems

What is a birthday suit

Why did he can a human being

I seem stupid and clueless

helpless and hopeless

weak and weary

and at times I’m all of those

and none

at the same time

e Speaks….

Devereaux challenges me as a writer all while invoking motivation to be a better human at the same time. He teaches me and I find myself learning in a space that feels safe and non intrusive for both of us. There are poets and then there are anomalies who embody poetry. Devereaux Frazier is the latter.

He Speaks…

Share a little about yourself:

Guess I can start off by saying I’m Devereaux Frazier. I’m 18 and a student at the Community College of Baltimore County. Just finished my first semester there, actually. I’ve been writing since I was 13, and while major publication has evaded me (for now), I’ve filled the time being published by Teen Ink magazine, Literary Arts Review, and SpillWords while being a member of Blood Into Ink and a guest barista at Go Dog Go Cafe, two exemplary literary collectives. At the forefront of my writing presence is my own blog, An Aspergian’s Chemical Romance. I stared writing for it two years ago with the intention of just having a place to write and talk about my life on the autism spectrum. What it’s become is a place where I dive deeper into my condition, really challenging the “why’s” of my actions rather than stating (rather boringly I think, though no disrespect to those who do) my symptoms and how my life fits around them. I never wanted to be another WordPress diary. My poetry is less about the aspergers itself, and more about recognizing the beauty that it creates. People seldom understand me, and so rather than giving them boring anecdotes and medical diagnoses, I turn to poetry to paint pictures of my existence.

e shares one of her favorite pieces…

The ABC’s of me

Autistic, because where else to begin

Broken from the people who discouraged me

Cunning developed from outwitting them

Dark lines brooding in irritated waters

Eventually becoming open to your company

Forever hating and loving it

Gone before you ever said goodbye

Headed to the outside of your inside

Incorrect politically because I like action

Juxtaposed is male strength

Kissed with emotion fragility

Lined inside a boy turned man still child

Made to write, man of words never enough

Not only written or spoken, but merely dreamt

Outstretched hands for a woman’s grasp

Perfectly aware of their unawares to my truth

Questioning why I just don’t tell them

Resting assured that they already know

Still afraid of what the future has for me

Testing my boundaries every day

Understanding growth is ugly and beautiful

Voicing my concerns with maturity

Warring to find the source of my strength

Xylophones were hated in youth

Zenith not nearly reached

How/when did you discover your voice as a writer and what inspires you to write?

I think it was about 5 years ago, at a Stevenson University creative writing camp. I’d never seriously considered a writing career beforehand, but when I came there and the subsequent year in 2014 I was shocked to discover not just how much I loved it, but how good I really was. (Or at least felt. I could post some of my old poems. Yuck. I really hate thinking about those) I think most things inspire me to write. I’m pretty observant, so I notice a lot of things, but rather than actual objects, I think emotions inspire me most. I like writing from regret and possibility.

Had you planned to ever share your story of living with Asperger’s or were you encouraged to do so?

I never planned to share my story. I mean, as a writer I knew it would eventually become a focal point, but when I started writing people started asking questions.

What makes your heart smile?

What makes my heart smile? This is such a beautiful question…Life. You never know when your time is up…my mom and sister. My mom is best person I know. She’s everything really, and I wouldn’t know what to do without her. My sister is much of the same, albeit younger and with less wisdom but sharing the same desire and passion for truth and right carried out. Juana is an incredible boss and somebody I can trust. Mary and I share a great passion for football, and we still share barbs about how good (or bad) Andy Reid actually is. Shoutout to my bro Ryan too. He got me into airsoft. Feedback from my writing. And anything written by Kindra Austin.

How has your transition to college life been?

College life…hm. I’m not actually “involved” much in it. I’m kinda like go there, do my assignments, go home. I’ll integrate more overtime, but as of now I’m just trying to get a feel for professors and becoming comfortable with coursework.

Where do you see yourself a year from today?

Year from today? Published. Paperback book. Doing book signings and author meet and greets. Going to New York. Going on live TV for interviews. Just telling the world a perspective that enough haven’t heard. Straight A’s. A girlfriend would also be great 😂😂😂.

He Speaks…

The Magic, The Misery

The magic

The misery

Of falling someone

Never meant to be

With you

For you

Forever you wonder

Why the universe hates you

All I’m asking for is one

Just one chance being loved

By somebody special

Somebody true

One to write me and you

In the bark of our long-lived tree

And in the kisses blown

Upon warm summer breeze

Seeing everyone else with somebody

Reminds me how I’m nobody

And knowing I won’t ever

Even though I try

Is the worst part of all

What do you want your legacy to be?

My legacy? A male from my family who really stood out from the crowd. Redeemed some of the things that have plagued our family. Finally made enough to let my mom stop working. Let the world know what life with Aspergers and autism is really like.

e Speaks…

Thank you for joining us here at http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com and stopping by the #WriterCrushWednesday series Devereaux!!

SUPPORT DEVEREAUX ONLINE!

@dev_writes (Instagram)

Or on (Facebook)

Visit his site here!

Poetry, bio and photos included in this piece are the exclusive property of Devereaux Frazier . No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you for being here!

Blessings!

e of @authenticiteespeaks

IG | FB @AuthenticiteeSpeaks

Twitter | @Authenticitee

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

SEASON(S) TOO

Hey #InspirationWithE Family!

Wow! Inquiries about Season 2 of my Inspiration With E radio show have really increased quite a bit here of late. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!! I am genuinely humbled by the love, interest and support!

What began as a brief hiatus evolved into our schedules going full blown bananas and colliding in midair! My incredible producer @jitchronicles and founder of @grindhardradio & I have been doing just that: Grinding Hard and building our legacies.

I am beyond grateful for the opportunity that I was afforded while podcasting and will continue to inspire no matter the format! Season 1 Episodes have been archived and available on demand on http://www.grindhardradio.com.

Enjoying my journey, I look forward to whatever the next chapter holds! You can still find me here, on Facebook | Instagram @InspirationWithE and on Twitter @EAInspiration!

New Here? Welcome New Faces!💫e

***************************************

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

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Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

I have thoroughly enjoyed Marie’s daily Love Letter Challenge. Though it ended March 30th, I intentionally saved the final writing prompt for my birthday weekend. Knowing I would be in a reflective space tonight influenced my decision to wait to write this piece. Although my birthday was yesterday and this weekend was awesome; this intentional quiet time is a beautiful moment.

Welcome to the final day of #TheLoveLetterProject Writing Challenge created by Marie of The Notion Of Love! If you’re just joining me, you can catch up on Days 1-29 here!

To Yourself, A Constant Reminder

e,

I’m really so very proud of you.

I, more than anyone else – know what you’ve been through. I know what you’ve suffered, lost and survived. I also know what you’ve given away and what you’ve forfeited. Many would have stayed down when knocked down – but not you. You continued to press on and even protected others at the expense of everything that made you…you.

But going forward…never, ever again.

Never and I mean never forget who you are and Whose you are.

You are worthy and deserving of every blessing your Creator has for you.

You are worthy of the range of love you give.

You are worthy of the height, weight and depth of life you so selflessly give to others.

You are worthy of healing.

You are worthy of receiving.

You are worthy of success.

You are worthy of respect.

You are worthy of self care.

You are worthy of self love.

I love you and I love the you…

You are now

And are becoming.

Never lose you…looking to and for another.

Happy Birthday e! And remember…

If they don’t think you’re deserving…

They don’t deserve you.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @authenticitee & @EAInspiration

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Welcome to Day 29 of #TheLoveLetterProject Writing Challenge created by Marie of The Notion Of Love! If you’re just joining me, you can catch up on the rules here!

Day 29

To The One Thinking Of Killing Herself

The background photos I chose during this writing challenge have been just as important to me as the content presented. For this prompt, I selected a photo that captured a range of emotions one may exhibit behind a smile. We often interact with hurting, hopeless and suicidal people more than we realize. Some are incredibly anxious and overwhelmed by life but find themselves stifled by the stigma of crying out for help; so they don’t. Instead…they smile.

Keeping up appearances.

Prior to being trained as a volunteer suicide crisis counselor, I served as a volunteer rape counselor for a short while. I remember the training sessions as empowering but extremely intense at times. Sitting in a classroom full of women unveiled common misogynistic prejudices against victim survivors because of their appearance. This was long before the momentum of Tarana Burke’s #MeToo movement erupted and common assumptions about attire being a contributing factor to sexual assault were prevalent.

Assumptions.

Assuming that a suicidal person has to “look” suicidal happens all the time. This is why it’s not uncommon for grieving loved ones to be in shock. “Them? But there were no signs. They were so happy. I thought things were looking up for them!”; when in essence the sudden happy go lucky calmness is a result of their being at piece with the decision to end their life.

But what does a suicidal person look like? We all know what it’s like to hide our true feelings at one time or another. But most suicidal people learn how to hide how they feel because they don’t want to be a burden or think they’ll be misunderstood. Yes. Those are a set of assumptions from the other side – but what if someone is willing to help or can relate?

To the girl who is thinking about killing herself or anyone else reading this – please don’t. I’m not talking to your smile, facade or mask. I’m talking to the part of you that still looks for a reason to smile. I’m talking to the part of you that wants to live. You are not alone. As a matter of fact I encourage you to visit Live Through This‘ website. You may very well find your story in the eyes of real life suicide attempt survivors who now courageously share their stories.

No assumptions or judgments here. You and your story…matter.

If you or a loved one are suicidal, is in crisis or having a hard time coping at this very moment; PLEASE know that you matter and are not alone! If you need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to reach out to the resources below!

The National Suicide Hotline

800-273-TALK (Veterans Press 1)

TEEN SUICIDE CRISIS HOTLINE- 800-852-8336 (Trained Teen Counselors)

The Trevor Project (LGBT Community) 866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline (Transgendered Community) 877-565-8860

Crisis Text: Text HOTLINE to 741741 ***If outside the U.S visit http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

In my thoughts….💫e

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @authenticitee & @EAInspiration

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credits: Pixabay. Live Through This. No copyright infringement intended.

HAPPY RESURRECTION SUNDAY!!

I absolutely cannot believe it’s April 1, 2018 already! But I am totally committed to seeing the March 2018 Writing Challenge through to completion! It has been fun, insightful and incredibly challenging to write AND post everyday. I am always writing but there are times where either my schedule prevents my ability to upload the post or what I’m writing that day doesn’t coincide with the theme.

Either way I’m so glad you’re here!! When I checked my stats, which I rarely do anymore; I saw that readers from ALL over the world still visit my site!!! It reminded me of the international blog party I threw a couple of years ago! Thank you for being here!!

Well, I’m going to share this writing prompt piece before I head out to church. Much love and prayerfully I can post at least one more tonight. Though I will finish the challenge, I do not want it to leak too much more into April. Let’s go!

Welcome to Day 28 of #TheLoveLetterProject Writing Challenge created by Marie of The Notion Of Love! If you’re just joining me, you can catch up on the rules here!

Day 28

To Yourself When You Can’t Get Out Of Bed

I think it’s so ironic that due to my delay in posting the theme pertaining to getting up when you don’t want to; falls on Easter Sunday. Though I have many readers and supporters who are non believers, I genuinely appreciate them honoring the Authenticitee Speaks Non Judgement Zone here (and it’s mutual). But as a Christian, Jesus Christ “getting up” is literally the crux of my faith.

But there are days when God uses other things to inspire me to “get up”.

Purpose is imperative! For some it’s the pitter patter of little feet depending on them; be it toddlers or fur babies. For some it’s to pay mortgage or save for college or an upcoming vacation. I’m personally inspired and motivated by remembering those who want to get up and can’t. Be it due to health issues or mobility limitations: the ability to get up is a gift. A gift to oneself and a gift to others.

Jesus Christ’s “getting up” was fueled by LOVE. Find what you love and getting up won’t be so difficult.

Enjoy your day! Let me hear your voice💫e

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @authenticitee & @EAInspiration

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credits Pixabay, Google images. No copyright infringement intended.

Welcome to Day 27 of #TheLoveLetterProject Writing Challenge created by Marie of The Notion Of Love! If you’re just joining me, you can catch up on the rules here!

Day 27

To Someone Who Has Lost Faith In Love

Losing something gives the connotation that we once had it. Be it our house keys or one’s proverbial mojo: losing something that we’ve come to cherish and/or depend on can be life altering.

Losing faith in love is usually a result of betrayal or expecting more than someone is really able to deliver. The most encouraging advice I can give is to be honest with yourself first.

Do you still want love? Do you want to be loved? I find so many issues stem from childhood rejection and perverted perception. Love is not abusive or manipulative. Perhaps it’s the agony of waiting. Wondering if it will ever be your turn.

More than receiving, love is what we are willing to give. Selfishness stifles. Has it ever dawned on you that another may be hurting too? Someone just may need the faith you lost in order for them to find faith in love again. Releasing ourselves from the weight of our loss makes room to simultaneously give and receive the healing power of love.

Who has need of what you’ve lost?…💫e

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @authenticitee & @EAInspiration

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credits Pixabay, Google images. No copyright infringement intended.

Welcome to Day 26 of #TheLoveLetterProject Writing Challenge created by Marie of The Notion Of Love! If you’re just joining me, you can catch up on the rules here!

Day 26

To The One Who Gives You Hope

You know what’s interesting is I felt compelled to look up the definition of hope for today’s writing prompt.

Sounds a lot like faith to me soooo what am I overthinking…now?

As volunteer suicide crisis counselor our training teaches us to assess a person’s feelings of hopelessness:

Anytime one loses hope they run the risk of becoming very withdrawn and depressed, if they stay in that space. Sure we all have our bad days but we must be honest about the cause and effect.

As a person who loves to give hope to others, I know what’s it like to be superwoman to several. I know what it’s like to run on fumes. I also know what it’s like to learn the hard way, that pouring from an empty cup is a lack of wisdom! Compassion Fatigue is nothing to play with. One of the most liberating moments of my journey is when God reminded me that everyone is not assigned to my caseload!

So if you’re a person that’s been struggling, feeling hopeless and helpless; I really encourage you to talk to your doctor or trained volunteer about your feelings. Your feelings are valid. Your grief is real. It’s ok to not be ok – but don’t stay there. Reach out because you are deserving of care.

To those like myself who give others hope, thank you for all that you do. Please take care of yourself!!! And finally remember the most important things to do in between breaths is to breathe💫e

*****************************************

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @authenticitee & @EAInspiration

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credits Pixabay. No copyright infringement intended.