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*The following piece was originally released April 30, 2015.

 

YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO LIVE ON THE BRIDGE 

Blogging Univ. Writing 101 Day 19


SO darn grateful for a free writing assignment today! I get to write whatever comes to mind, say what I want, say what I feel & how I feel it. The only rules are there are no rules…including my being obsessed with grammar or punctuation.

DOPENESS.
I’m always changing my Twitter profile picture. I bore very easily. It’s a wonder I’ve maintained some things as long as I have. Perhaps it’s my being what they call a ride or die chick, a loyalist or I don’t know….someone you definitely want in your corner. When I rock wit’ ‘chu, I rock hard from the core. I don’t have the energy to rock more than one face so you never have to wonder. If I said it I meant it. And you didn’t have to hear it second hand either.
So what’s the flip side of being ride or die? For those of us who take “enduring hardness as a good soldier” seriously. For those of us who are used to just sticking it out; no matter the toll it takes on us.  From apologizing to strangers about falling behind on Writing 101 assignments to staying in places we shoulda left a long time ago. For us; committing to something comes from a deeper place. It’s why we end up staying with people and doing things…waaaay past the expiration date. You know…that moment when you forget why you even started riding and why you allowed so much of you to die along the way.

We were never meant to live on the bridge. 

A bridge is defined by Dictionary.com as “a connecting, transitional route or phase between two adjacent activities or conditions“.

Just as old habits die hard and addictions are relentless in refusing to let us go, we too have things in our lives that we know we should’ve ended a long time ago. How many nouns; people, places or things, were meant to only be temporary in our lives but we refused to let go?
Nouns that were meant to just “hold you over” until you can climb over? It was a donut but you treated it like a permanent tire. It was meant to be urgent care not chronic care. The Emergency Rooms of life are not meant to fill in the gaps. That relationship was designed to revive you not sustain you…and you know it. So why are you settling? Why DON’T you deserve better than that? Why can’t it be your turn?
Why not you?! Shoooot why not me?!

My disclaimer is I’m not telling you to quit your job today. I’m not telling you to serve your spouse with divorce papers or move across country. ‘Cause wherever you go…there will there you will be. Everyone can’t be wrong, it just might be you. It makes no sense to have to take the same life test all over again in another location. Maybe…just maybe, some things are reoccurring because you just need to deal with it.
You were never meant to live on the bridge.
YOU know where you are and YOU know if you stayed too long…
Peace,
e
++To read the original “un-tweaked” piece click here.

Blessings!💫e
Host of the Inspiration With E Radio Show

IG | FB @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @EAInspiration

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

Twitter | @authenticitee

Remember YOU MATTER!
© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
Photo Credits are property of original owners. Photo Credit topbet.euNo copyright infringement intended. 

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GOD IS NOT A CRUEL GOD

“He will remember when men forget”. I believe those are the lyrics. I don’t know. Can’t remember. Thought it was an old Rickey Grundy Chorale song but I’m drawing a blank. Anyway I was leaving an encouraging message for my household a few minutes ago in our family group chat via text. Ah the perks of modern technology and drawbacks of working overnights.

The 4 of us; my husband of almost 20 years and our now two young teens have been through quite a bit in the last few years. Pain; though a sign of life, no matter the form or intensity, will either stunt one’s growth or propel it. I believe we’ve experienced both facets of the spectrum. “But God is not a cruel God” is what I ended the voice text with. No matter what we have been through, God has a plan tailor made for us.

God is not a cruel God.

There are some things we say because we believe it and then there are other things we say because we want to believe it. I didn’t say, “God is not a cruel God”.  I mean I said it but I didn’t say it. That was a supernatural declaration that came from the depths of my spirit filtered by yawns and a frustration that my break was ending. I didn’t say it but I knew Who did.

Nope. Not gonna type a laundry list about what we’ve been through. Not gonna drop the names or details of every offender and in what order. Not gonna mention the people who have disappeared off our radar that only resurface if my spouse or I post something they don’t care for and they feel the need to make an (in their eyes) politically correct, spiritually smug unsolicited pseudo rebuke/correction/comment.

Why won’t I provide the gory details? Because it doesn’t matter.

See…what the filtered photos and perfectly orchestrated content on social media at times omit, is that everyone is going through something. Whether they tell you about it or not. Yep. EVERYONE. You tell someone about your 2 blisters and I promise you their 12 bunions got ya beat. Stay focused. Dismiss distractions. Reduce complaining. Allow God to heal the confusion, resentment and bitterness overtaking you. Please.

It’s only hurting you..not them.

Look, you have hurt others too! None of us are exempt, no matter how hard we try, from causing or experiencing pain! Whether it was intentional or not! So be reasonable…pick and choose your battles. Oh and here’s a freebie: everyone that doesn’t keep in touch or doesn’t respond to your texts, calls, emails or hints that only dogs can hear is a horrible person. Did it ever dawn on you that they too are inundated with life and trials of their own? So STOP. There is no sense in forever comparing scars, bumps and bruises when we can spend our time, energy and every ounce of our being encouraging, inspiring and reminding others that they’re not alone. Easier said than done…I know…but may I submit, so worth a valiant effort.

By the wayyou’re not alone Beloved. So if you need someone to talk to, I have a few *hotlines listed below.

In the meantime let’s pray:

God I choose to believe You. No matter the circumstance. No matter who comes and goes. No matter who stays because they haven’t figured out how to leave yet. No matter what the news broadcasts or newspapers withhold. Thank you for knowing all about me and still wanting me. How awesome are you oh God!

I pray for the one reading this right now. Bring comfort and remind them healing comes in many forms. It may be in laughter or in volunteering. Show them how to cope Lord. We have so many questions and yet so few answers Lord. Thank you in advance for peace, provision, healing, restoration and strategy Father. You are not a cruel God and it will all make sense one day.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

*National Suicide Hotline (US)
Click here for International Suicide Hotline Numbers
Crisis Text Line (US) If you don’t feel like talking and rather text someone: Text “START” to 741-741
Live Through This Inspiring stories of actual Suicide Attempt Survivors 
The Trevor Project -For Gay & questioning youth

 

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REPLAY: iTunes Podcast, BlogTalk Radio, Stitcher, TuneIn. SEARCH “GrindHard Radio” then “Inspiration With E”!
Blessings!💫e of @authenticiteespeaks

Host of the Inspiration With E Radio Show

IG | FB @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @EAInspiration

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

Twitter | @authenticitee

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Photo via Pinterest. No copyright infringement intended. 

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Miserable. You look and are undeniably miserable. No rest for the weary and the disinterested. It has become a strain and source of frustration and fatigue. So why do you bother? Word on the street is, “you already know.”

Your friends have listened and your enemies have overheard that you are no longer happy. Constantly warring between the “what if” and the “woulda, shoulda, couldas” in the very core of your soul, you hide your face to save face. When did it become unbearable? Can you remember the shift in the connection? The times the climate waxed from hot to cold in milliseconds. Do you remember what you were like before? Before you were reminded that there was so much more?

You ask for advice and rehearse the story. Some hints as subtle as the releasing of bricks in lieu of the releasing balloons weigh heavily. So heavily. And there is an emptiness. A chasm so deep that there is no recollection of what once filled its place. Ask not another what they think. For you have dulled the hearing of every sounding board. Word on the street my friend is, “you already know.”

 

As do I.

 

Love,
e

 

 

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credit Deviant Art via Google Images. No copyright infringement intended.

 

 

 

 

  
BEHIND THE MASK

Do you remember? All that advice I gave? Sincere, highly sought and at times unsolicited. I had all the answers when it wasn’t my turn. When my rhythm was real good and real right. 

Then immersed in & numbed by maladaptive coping mechanisms I was wooed into cataclysmic, organic, orgasmic, climatic throes of denial.  

Heartbreak has burnt my clutch. Wore me down. Glasses off. Contacts out. Looking for my crown. Hypersensitive to the slightest touch. Airbrushed smile now masks the frown. 

Do you remember? All that advice I gave? Thanked me cause your life it saved?
Well it’s not easy being a hypocrite. Somebody’s gotta do it…on the road to hell with good intentions paved. 


© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee, 2015, 2016 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original 


Background Photo Image Pinterest. No copyright infringement intended