Welcome to Day 5 of #TheLoveLetterProject Writing Challenge created by Marie of The Notion Of Love! If you’re just joining me, you can catch up on the rules here!

Day 5


Written by Ericka Arthur for Authenticitee Speaks March 5, 2018

I could never relate to you

I didn’t see any fairies growing up

And unlike Tinkerbell I wasn’t born

from a baby’s first laugh and

a white dandelion seed.

I never found that perfect blend of

Easter Sunday pastels and John Robert Powers

NYC taught defensive walking.

Timberlands pounding concrete and a scoliosis infused curve appeal were more my speed.

More my thang. More me. Me.

But angels? Angels I saw everyday.

Angels in the eyes of Grandma Dora.

Angels in every stranger that told the city bus driver to wait for me running down the street or yelled “Back door!!”; causing the drivers to slam on their brakes so I can get off a ridiculously crowded bus.

Angels on the days I didn’t see them


like the wind, felt the effects of them.

Never played dressed up in pink or

sheer flowing gowns donning wings.

If anything my Fairy Godmother woulda been the round the way, street smart great Aunt named Miss One.

She was the Magical Number Runner portrayed by the beautiful but totally relatable Thelma Carpenter in The Wiz.

Instead of Lena Horne’s equally beautifully yet stunning, classic, feminine portrayal of Glenda the Good Witch.

But perhaps more than a notion; this is the

modern day affirmation of Girl power.

Recognizing but respecting the unique

sound waves embedded in our wings.

Perhaps what makes real Girl Power

powerful is trusting that your power

like mine

is empowered – by those who believe.


Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

IG | @authenticiteespeaks

LIKE ON FACEBOOK! @authenticiteespeaks AND @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @authenticitee & @EAInspiration

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Photo Credits: Pinterest via Google Images. No copyright infringement intended.


Almost two years to the day, as a fairly new blogger; I was interviewed for the first time @grindhardradio by the main cast on Aug 17, 2015 along with @iamsadechampagne. A couple of days later I was interviewed by the #RadioDivas for the first time. Fast forward to me hosting my own show, Inspiration With E (@inspirationwithe) on the same network.

I don’t know what you see when you look at this picture, but I see entrepreneurs, college graduates, indie artists and even a couple (both pictured) who have been married over 9 years. I see people who have checked on me if I got too quiet, sent me inspirational quotes, and that guy in the middle? That’s Jit Chronicles (@jitchronicles). They call him the Black Larry King. It’s important to him, that people stay true to their brand. “Hey Sis, no profanity on your show? I got you. You gonna talk about Jesus and raise awareness, I got you. You have a burden for all cultures and all genres of music. I got you. Just do you.”

Thanks Jit & GrindHardRadio Squad for the most ridiculous support I’ve seen in a long time. Just loving people for who they are, where they are. Exactly how it’s supposed to be.

Salute. Much respect. And congratulations on a brand new season starting tonight!! PROUD OF YOU!!🙏🏽❤️💫e

#GrindHardRadio #RealityRadio #Squad 

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com
IG | @authenticiteespeaks
Twitter | @authenticitee
Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
Photo Credit: http://www.grindhardradio.com

Meet Ericka Arthur


Known as fearless behind the pen, Brooklyn NY native Ericka Arthur of Authenticitee Speaks is an Inspirational blogger, speaker, writer, singer and poet. A lover of love, she writes from the core of her heart; to the core of hearts. 

As a volunteer Suicide Crisis Counselor, Ericka has a burden to raise awareness and end the stigma facing those having difficulty coping; especially in communities of color and faith. 

Her latest movement, Inspiration With E, was created to share what inspires her while encouraging others. “Inspired to inspire and healed to do the same”, is the self proclamation that fuels Ericka and has now culminated in the launch of her own radio show. 

Inspiration With E, set to debut Aug 20, 2017 on Grindhard Radio, is where she will share what inspires her. Everything from different genres of music, interviewing Indie Authors, Artists and Entrepreneurs while raising awareness about issues close to her heart. 

Be sure to tune in Sundays from 7p to 830p EST & tell a friend!


Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com
IG | @authenticiteespeaks
Twitter | @authenticitee

IG | @InspirationWithE
FB | @InspirationWithE

Twitter | @EAInspiration

Blog | http://www.authenticiteespeaks.com

Remember YOU MATTER!

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks, 2015, 2016, 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
Photo Credits Ericka Arthur for authenticitee speaks

DJ Saxy. Hers was a story I asked to tell months ago; and then life happened to me. Wave after wave of circumstances in unchartered waters crashed against every facet of my being. Every time I tried to open my mouth to gasp for air, drowning waters overtook me. As I began to get my bearings together I was able to remember unfinished conversations. My conversation with DJ Saxy was one that I wanted to finish. Life had forced me to leave our warm exchanges mid-sentence. She was headed out on tour as a DJ for Carnival Cruise Lines and that bought me some time. She’s been patient, as her’s I felt, was an important journey to share. After having graciously accepted my private apologies, which she didn’t feel were necessary; I wanted to publicly apologize as well. Thank you again for your patience DJ Saxy, let’s get this story told.

We worked together for the first time as co-hosts on GrindHard Radio’s Radio Divas talk show this past season. Besides being fun, articulate and mad cool; she is extremely knowledgeable about the music industry and selflessly shares from a global perspective. In getting to know her better, I quickly learned more than music had captured her heart. Her mother’s battle with Multiple Sclerosis weighed heavily on her. Using her platform as an internationally renowned DJ to help raise awareness about the disease, only increased my admiration and respect for her.

She Speaks In Her Own Words – Business

The name DJ Saxy came from the instrument. I played the saxophone for several Blues groups and artists while I was in college. I even had a chance to play for Blues singer Bobby Rush! I have always been a music lover, I grew up in a musical family. I started DJing when I realized I had an ear for picking out hits or songs that can do well in the industry. I was always interested in DJs at a young age like DJ Spinderella, Jazzy Jeff, Kid Capri and local radio jockeys. In my sophomore year in college I bought my first turntables and began learning the concepts of DJing. After I realized I had a grip on the art of being a DJ, I changed majors from Music Education to Music Industry.

As a female in the industry it is hard. It has been hard for me to work my way into clubs because I’m a female DJ that doesn’t dress provocatively to get in good with club owners and promoters. I’m just a girl who is a dope DJ. Of course you have the guys that try to come at you in non professional ways and once that happens I don’t deal with those clubs anymore. As a female I feel I have to prove myself even more because we are usually overlooked. I have to go harder than the guys. I often get a “look” or talked over by older men when it comes to talking about sound and DJing. They think I don’t know technicals or simple stuff because I’m a woman, but when I open my mouth and talk, they look stupid and say, “Oh…you know what you’re doing”.

I was blessed to have two club owners that gave me a shot to DJ at their clubs. I went in and “kilt it”, earning residency at their clubs, Ventura’s Lounge in Shaw, MS and ABG in Tupelo, MS. These club owners were different because they saw me as a DJ and not just a little girl trying to play music.

My break to becoming an international DJ came when I took the last of my money I saved and went to Atlantic City for a DJ conference. At the time I was a broke college student that bought a bus ticket, rode 22 hours, paid for a hotel room and had $55 in my pocket to eat off of for 4 days. At the conference I met a guy who heard me playing around with turntables and he talked me into auditioning for a job. I didn’t want to but did it anyway. I used his laptop and controller and auditioned in a room for 4 people including DJ Irie! They loved my audition and didn’t believe I was just a girl from Mississippi. Two days later I had an email offering me a job to work with cruise lines and resorts!

She Speaks In Her Own Words – Mom’s Multiple Sclerosis

I want to go to church too“, my mother said. Due to her long 12 year battle with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Barbara Rainey had lost her ability to use her legs and at times her arms and hands. Multiple Sclerosis is a rare (fewer than 200,000 US cases per year), chronic, typically progressive disease for which there is no cure. It involves damage to the sheaths of nerve cells disrupting communication between the brain and the body causing numbness, impairment of speech and of muscular coordination, blurred vision, and severe fatigue.

I started a Go Fund ME page in an effort to help raise funds to purchase a special van that my mom can drive her powered wheelchair into. She has stated she “feels like a prisoner in her own house”, simply because she is unable to leave and travel, even if it’s to go to a much needed Dr.’s appointment. At this time, it takes two people in two different vehicles to take her out away from the house. She has to be lifted and transferred into her van and the wheelchair is lifted into the back of it as well. Once this is done there is no room for the lift to fit into the van. Therefore a second vehicle will have to travel and carry her lift. The idea of a van where she can just drive her chair into would be such a blessing for her and our family.

e Speaks

Missing Dr. appointments has taken its toll on Barbara Rainey’s health. Once she was finally able to get to the Doctor, the latest MRI revealed that she had new lesions on her brain. Though it’s been an honor to help raise awareness about women in the DJ industry as well as Multiple Sclerosis, raising awareness is just the first step. I pray this serves as a catalyst for change, an incentive to donate to the cause as well motivation to seize a moment of self reflection. We never know what someone is dealing with. Especially if they are not one to complain. Perhaps you or a loved one is dealing with a chronic illness and there are days you long to tell the whole world. Then there are days when you do scream it on every mountain top while feeling as though you’re on MUTE.

Praying you’re unmuted today and even consider…passing the mic.

DJ Saxy Links

Barbara Rainey’s GO FUND ME Page: https://www.gofundme.com/8vv9bv44  {*Site issues have been resolved per DJ Saxy}

EPK: http://artistecard.com/djsaxy

Website: http://www.thedjsaxy.com

IG: @dj_saxy

Twitter: @djsaxy

Snapchat: thedjsaxy

Facebook: thedjsaxy

© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee speaks; 2015, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.



Yours Truly Has Been Invited To Join the Gritty GrindHardRadio’s Empowering RadioDivas Cast as a CoHost!

This Sunday’s Season Premiere (1.17.16) promises to deliver fun, “keep it 💯” dialogue, while tackling tough issues affecting women and urban communities as a whole. Incredible Indie Artists among other Special Guests to be featured throughout the season! 


Thanks for the love & support💘e
THIS SUNDAY…. 0/17/2016 #SEASONPREMIERE of #RadioDivas #Season5 on #‎GrindHardRadio

7pm eastern / 6pm central

 @jitchronicles with @cocoameka @virginiasupernovaslim @dj_saxy @indigointerlude @iamsadechampagne @ShynonB

>>>>>> Go 2 >>>>> 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/grindhard_radio/2016/01/18/radio-divas-season-5-premiere-episode-41 2 listen or call 323-693-3043 and press 1 to speak to host ‪#‎RealityRadio ‪#‎GHR #MzMeka #TBR‬‬ #Urban #Support #Indie #Radio #indiemusic #indieartist #Music #Streetart #MusicBusiness #Worldwide #Women #Online #PositiveVibesOnly #Influence #UrbanRadio


© Ericka Arthur and authenticitee, 2015, 2016 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ericka Arthur and authenticitee with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
Photo Credit: GrindHard Radio

FB_IMG_1440427504466THE CONVERSATION WITH V SLIM CONTINUES! #SuicidePreventionMonth

If you’re just joining us you’re cordially invited to rock with us from the beginning by clicking here!

The First Lady of GrindHard Radio blessed this space with her transparency last week when she talked about her personal struggles and experience with Suicide. She set many a captive free by doing so and I’m incredibly honored that it all took place here at authenticitee.

Today she talks more about the business of handling her business…let’s go!

When did you discover your voice, literally and figuratively?
I began singing three part harmony with my sisters Venus and Dominique when we were about 3,4 and 5 I believe. I started writing poetry when I was about 10 or so, but after recording for several years and not even being able to stand the sound of my own voice I met a producer named Thundakat and he was vital in helping to tame and structure Catastrophe and molding her into Virginia Slim later to be named The Supernova which made me the dynamic force named Virginia Supernova Slim!

That was around 2003 or 2004 and I never looked back. I learned how to say exactly what I wanted, how I wanted, but in a way that conveyed my thoughts and emotions to my listeners so that they could comprehend, relate, and enjoy. I learned how to manipulate my voice in different ways so that I could create contrasts in feelings and emotions and how to adequately express different levels of emotion. Being able to paint vivid pictures with songs gave me my voice and the ability to share my experiences and testimony.

How/when did you become the 1st Lady of Grindhard Radio?  
I met Cody Nixon aka Jit Chronicles (Creator/CEO of Grindhard Radio) through word of mouth from a fellow artist in Oct. of 2010 before the inception of GHR when he was the host of another radio show called The Jit and June Bugga Show. My friend Don Juan Valdez told me about the Internet radio show that played the music of indie artists for free and asked me to call the number and listen to the show to support him. As I listened my spirit gravitated to the more dominant host Jit Chronicles and I felt as if he was a kindred spirit! Excited about the possibilities, I submitted my music and became a regular listener and supporter. I would call in and show them some love, promote myself as well as my music, and network with other indie artists. Long story short, the show ended because of differences of opinions and June Bugga came to me and asked me if I was interested in hosting another show with him because Jit wasn’t dedicated and that’s why their show had ended. I committed excitedly, but soon after I learned the truth about why the previous show had been unsuccessful. I also learned that Jit was in the process of starting Grindhard Radio and was looking for hosts. I felt mislead and manipulated, but since I had already obligated myself to N.C Boy For Life (June Bugga’s self involved show) I tried to fulfill that obligation. Also I referred my first cousin Dangerous Tactics who was also an artist to Jit Chronicles for GHR and their premier was March 8, 2011. I was a guest Co-host every chance I got, but I did not become an official part of the team and the 1st Lady of Grindhard Radio until after my 11 month break in June of 2012 when i was released from prison.

How would you describe your style of music? 

Honestly, my style of music is very hard to describe because different people hear different things when they hear different songs, but I would say it’s kind of like a cross between hip-hop and r&b. I don’t really sing and I don’t really rap, I just flow! I feel like music is a language and I am music’s interpreter, so I just translate what the beat is already saying while conveying the message in a language (style) that’s fun for me! Lol And also easy to visualize. 

What are the pros & cons of being an indie artist? 

The pro of being an indie artist is being the boss, but the con to being the boss is paying the cost! When you are independent you can’t depend on anyone but yourself and your grind. You may not have a manager, a publicist, a budget, producers, engineers, etc at your disposal as an indie artist, but you have the power and the ability to build relationships to help yourself achieve goals. On a major level you have more potential access to their major connections and opportunities to promote you as an artist, but staying independent doesn’t necessarily mean that the movement is small or incapable of adequately representing you. It is just normally associated with not having readily available access to mainstream resources. 

Are you an indie artist by choice or default?

I believe that I am an indie artist by default because it’s not about how good your music is its about how successful you are at getting your music to someone who can get it heard and distributed to the masses! On the level that I’m on as an indie artist I have not had the opportunity to get my music to someone who is willing to walk me through some doors that I cannot get in alone. I have done all that I can. I became an artist to get my lyrics out as a writer.

If offered a major record deal would you take it? 

If I was offered a major deal that was going to lead my career in the direction that God wants it to go I would definitely take it. I am at a point in my life where my motto is, “Not I, but CHRIST!” Not saying I feel like I have to do gospel music, but I definitely have a responsibility to win souls for Christ with whatever gifts, talents, and possessions that He’s blessed me with. To God be the Glory! Everything I do I want to do it for Him because He not only gave me life but a chance to LIVE! Only what we do for Christ will last! I have had cars, clothes, money, jewelry, and I’ve lost it all, but as long as I don’t lose my soul I don’t mind losing everything else.

Any advice to up and coming artists?

When it comes to giving advice to up and coming artists I have to first say seek God to order your steps and wait on Him to lead you. Then I would have to be honest and say have a backup plan for your back up plan. Don’t settle for one career path or avenue of making money and being successful. Have a career, a passion, and a hobby and try to enjoy and make money off of them all! You don’t have to restrict yourself to wanting to be an artist alone so that if that doesn’t work out you don’t have anything to fall back on. Aspire to be something that everybody else in the world is not trying to be so that there is less competition in your lane and then pursue the common path last because the chance for success isn’t impossible it’s just harder to obtain because it’s so popular. It is not easy to become a superstar, but having a sure dollar to sustain you while you pursue your dreams is a smarter way to try to get where you’re trying to go and guarantees a higher possibility of success in more than one area. Have several pots cooking on the stove, but put some elbow grease into whatever you’re cooking. What you put in is what you get out! You can’t expect to put a potato in the oven and get a steak out. Don’t take shortcuts. This microwave society wants instant gratification and has no patience, but anything worth having is worth waiting patiently and working diligently for.   

How can supporters purchase your music?  

All of the music that I have released to date can be downloaded for free right now! These are my last free projects other than songs that will be released on the exclusive Grindhard Radio Mixtape Series Grind Or Die and Slow Grind, but my latest project “Virginia Supernova Slim’s Greatest Hits And Features” which is a double cd with 18 songs on each disk (36 songs) comprised of 10+ years of music can be downloaded here:

 https://m.datpiff.com/tape/622540**FOR FREE** and all of my music can be found through the Official Grindhard Radio Website here: http://WWW.GRINDHARDRADIO.COM or by going to Google and typing in Virginia Supernova Slim. That will also link you to all of my other music streaming sites and social media sites.

You can also check out my music at http://www.soundcloud.com/virginia-slim


What do you want your legacy to be? 

 When all is said and done I want to be remembered for living a life of substance, both spiritually and physically. I want my name to by synonymous with perseverance through persecution and from that I want people to be encouraged and know that the same God that brought me through will deliver them too! I want my legacy to be interpreted as, not I, BUT CHRIST! It’s not how or where you start, but how strong you finish! I want people to say, “Virginia Supernova Slim allowed God to turn her flaws, mistakes, and sins into success for His Kingdom!” They say nothing beats a failure but a try, but I say nothing beats a try but to try again until you are successful! I want people to know without a shadow of a doubt that I was God-fearing, sincere, genuine, accepting, nurturing, family-oriented, and that I gave 110% to the people who God placed in my path until I took my very last breath. In some way shape or form I want my life and death to impact souls and win them for Christ and I want to contribute to the advancement of the human race. Only then will I feel like my life mattered.

I wanted to provide the link for the Suicide Prevention Awareness Show that we did on Grindhard Radio where I shared my story with the world for the very first time and I pray that someone is blessed by me refusing to be ashamed of what God allowed me to experience, so please check it out and share it!  


How can my incredible subscribers, supporters and guests check you out on Grindhard Radio (language advisory)?

GrindhardRadio is live every Tuesday and Thursday from 11p-1a EST and we have a show that’s live on the network just about every night of the week including: The Mass Debaters which is live every Monday and Wednesday from 10p-12a EST, Grown Folks Business which is live every Saturday from 5p-7p EST, and The Radio Divas which is live every Sunday from 7p-9p EST.   


You can also check out the archived shows at www.blogtalkradio.com/grindhard_radio on iTunes, the TuneIn app, www.collegeundergroundradio.comor by going to WWW.GRINDHARDRADIO.COM  
My music and social media sites can be found by typing Virginia Supernova Slim in Google! You can also submit mp3 formatted music to grindhard904@gmail.com for free interviews on the show. Please include all song and artist information.  

Follow the GHR Network Squad on Twitter @JITCHRONICLES @VirginiaSlim7 @YoungNah267 @CataFacemobb803 @juztkp @Tenah4 @msmekatbr @mass_Debaters @djsgtrock  

God Bless! 





++September is #SuicidePreventionMonth! You can help by please sharing her story with others who may feel hopeless and ready to give up. As usual thanks for your love and support of authenticitee: inspiration without the other stuff.

Love you to life (not death)


National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-TALK




Didn’t remember being on Blog Talk Radio’s e-list that fall morning last year. It included suggested shows tailor made for me to listen to. Never really been an avid talk-radio listener, so I had probably caught a broadcast of some sort and signed up. The words “Suicide Awareness” jumped out at me and I scrolled down and saw an ad for GrindHard Radio, A picture popped up and I clicked the link. I knew it was an urban show but wasn’t quite prepared for the amount of profanity so I paused and prayed.

As a Suicide Prevention advocate, it was very important to hear every single word on the broadcast. I knew they had something very special about them in the way they conveyed Suicide Awareness. It wasn’t the watered down after school special version of life but rather the “It’s a Hard Knock Life” version. They spoke perfect English laced with a gritty dialect, reaching a demographic of my beautiful African American people that had been deemed unreachable. I said, “Amen”, exhaled, pressed play and held on for the ride. About an hour and 20 mins later I heard her voice…and I felt God.

As tears covered my cheeks I began to pace the floor. I thought about all the suicidal and hurting people all over the world who refuse to get help or call crisis lines because they feel misunderstood. They feel as though the person on the other line cannot relate to their experience so how could they possibly help.

In urban communities, those in crisis may wonder who’s on the other end of the line and if they really want to talk about poverty, homosexuality, dodging bullets, prison, single parent homes or gang life. Many African American boys grow up being told that only punks cry and girls are raised to stay strong. Sometimes that results in looking strong instead of actually being strong. Not to mention the stigma attached to those struggling with mental health issues in communities of color and faith.

It becomes a very delicate issue to discuss but yet NY Times reported earlier this year that there was a rise in Suicide by Black Children, ages 5-11; “The rate has nearly doubled since the early 1990s, while the rate for white children has declined.”

Meet the 1st Lady of GrindHard Radio V Slim…the she behind the ‘her voice’ I heard the night I felt God….

V Slim

First I would like to thank you for the opportunity to share a piece of my story that will hopefully encourage or maybe even inspire someone else who may be able to relate to my journey. The blessing and pleasure is ALL mine!! Now, a little about me. My name is China (pronounced Chee-na) Sykes a.k.a Virginia Supernova Slim and I am a 32 year old African-American female recording artist/writer who was born in Portsmouth, Va., raised in Lynchburg, Va., and groomed in various parts of Georgia. since Sept. 11, 2001 when I left home at 18 to pursue a music career. I have experienced a lot (good as well as bad) in my life, but I know that ALL things work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His purpose so I try to remain optimistic and have faith that God is in control.

I first learned of GrindHard Radio thru the Suicide Awareness show last year. Was that the first of its kind? How did it come about?

V Slim

GrindHard Radio caters to independent music artists and people who grind hard, but we have awareness shows every chance we get to put a spotlight on topics and issues that are of MAJOR importance to us and our respective communities. Suicide Awareness was a topic that we had never covered before, but I suggested because it was a matter that was very near and dear to my heart considering the fact that it was so personal. I suffer from mental health illnesses such as post traumatic stress disorder, manic depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and insomnia, and had been experiencing some difficulties in my life, relationship and family that weighed me down enough to contemplate suicide.


Had you planned to share your story during that show?
V Slim

Honestly, from time to time I pray to God to lead me and give me the words to say in certain situations in general, but I never “rehearse” for a show. I like to freestyle and let the spirit of the conversation at hand lead me. I had NO idea what I was going to say but I knew that I had to be honest and say SOMETHING REAL! I am often accused of being too forthcoming when it comes to my personal business and experiences, but my motto is, TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!! How can I help someone who may be going through something similar to what I’ve been through or am going through if I’m too ashamed or embarrassed to share it?! I feel like I can only be considered to be “real” if I share the good and the bad, my ups and my downs.

For a long time people only saw the material things and status that I obtained, but didn’t respect or understand my progress because they didn’t see the blood, sweat, tears, abuse, neglect, disappointment, danger, etc. that I had to endure to get or achieve those things. So in essence, people envied what I considered to be a lie because half of the truth is not the truth. I wanted people to understand that if they knew what I or anybody else was going through it would probably change their perspective of how easy our lives seemed. Things ALWAYS look different from the outside looking in! It’s like a car with a new paint job that has no engine, brakes, etc. So, when I started to share my testimony, as with any other show, I came from my heart with a sincere objective of encouraging anyone who was listening and showing them that if God could save ME and allow me to see my life as half full instead of half empty, He could save ANYBODY!

Suicide and suicidal ideation brings with it great stigma. What has been your experience with Suicidal ideation and/or attempts?
V Slim 

The closest I’ve come to actually committing suicide was fondling a bottle of pills and standing on the shoulder of highway Interstate 20 in Atlanta about to run out in traffic, but the thoughts have crossed my mind before that incident and honestly even since then. Sometimes I get discouraged and feel like a waste of a life, a burden on the people I love, a failure, etc but thankfully I have a God who sits high and looks low and He ALWAYS sends someone to comfort me and encourage me when I’m crying out for help. For a long time I WAS ashamed of what I was going through, but I realized that a closed mouth doesn’t get fed and the fact that I was begging for help, even if it was nonverbal, indicated to me that I DIDN’T want to die I was just tired of feeling like I was not LIVING! Also, i realized that i cant possibly save someone else if I am too afraid of being judged to share. When you allow a thought to fester in your mind you are essentially giving that idea, which was probably planted by the devil, room to grow. I’ve since learned that I diligently try to chop those thoughts down at the root to ensure that they don’t get out of control.


You touched on a lot and have free reign to share your heart here…

V Slim

Just to give everyone a little information about me and a little background for where I believe things in my life went awry, I grew up the middle child of three girls all about a year apart and we were raised in the church as daughters of a minister and nieces of the pastor. When our dad started doing drugs, it tore our entire family apart and pitted us girls against each other. We also began to act out and redirect our disappointments and frustrations for our father to our innocent mother. Our dad was not a villain, the drugs he was addicted to was the culprit and prohibited him from not only caring about himself but also caring for us. Either way, that was a turning point for me because I was so family oriented that the division of my immediate family made me long for a family of my own as well as a successful career to provide for them. So at 18, I packed up my things and my mom drove me to Ga and dropped me off. I had visions of grandeur, but reality soon set in and I realized that I was a small fish in a big pond and was ill equipped for my journey on my own.

Over the almost 14 years that I lived in Ga. I was homeless several times, I went to Job Corps. in Albany, Ga., I went to jail several times, I was in several lesbian relationships (notably one where a child was involved that I still provide for) that almost always took a toll on me and then after draining me ended ridiculously bad. I made efforts to build numerous relationships only to have the people turn on me and stab me in the back in the worst ways.

I was robbed at gun point, I had to do unspeakable acts to survive, and then I ended up in prison and came home to nothing! On top of the health issues, mental health issues (manic depression, O.C.D, insomnia, anxiety, and P.T.S.D), and desire to be a mother that I was dealing with, I met someone in prison who I waited for and when she came home over a year after I had been home all she did was make my life harder and reduce my will to live even more. My mental stability began to diminish and I felt like a failure and a waste of human life because if she didn’t love me and respect me, I felt nobody else would. I was hurting inside and it seemed like no one cared.

I thought the world would be a better place without me and it wasn’t like anybody was going to miss me anyway. I was fighting with my family, I was fighting with my health, I was fighting with my relationships, I was fighting with my spiritual relationship with God, I was fighting to get my music heard, but most importantly I was fighting my calling and didn’t realize the connection that all of those things had! God was trying to get my attention while I was trying to end my life because I felt like I had no purpose. I was standing on Highway Interstate 20 in Atlanta one night and I was just fed up with everything. I did not have an ounce of strength left in me to fight. My boss, the C.E.O of Grindhard Radio, and my best friend and brother Cody Nixon a.k.a Jit Chronicles called me and basically just encouraged me not to give up and he told me to think about my music, and all of the people who love me, and who would be affected by me making such a rash decision. At that moment I realized that my story wasn’t supposed to end like that. Yeah, I had been through a lot, but I’ve never seen a mountain that My God can’t move out of the way! It is not by my might!

God has an expected end for us all if we just hold on and faint not! I have learned to empower my mind with endurance mechanisms because the race is not given to the swift nor to the strong, but to the one who endures until the end. Everything you allow yourself to feel starts in your mind. If you want to change the way you feel, change the way you think. We have the power to create whatever we want, but we can’t do that focusing on what we don’t want. My entire life, I constantly had encounters with police because that’s what I feared and focused on so that’s what I created.

Going to prison and the damage from the negative relationship established there was the toughest experience I’ve endured thus far along with my dad’s drug addiction that has spanned my lifetime. But where I feel like the impact from my dad damaged me…I feel like the impact from prison broke me. It hurt me on the deepest levels to disappoint my mother, the rest of my family, my supporters, my music, and my daughter and also it broke me mentally to be in that institution seeing, experiencing, and ultimately surviving everything that I encountered. Being subjected to such demeaning treatment and utter lack of respect from other human beings was earth-shattering and life-changing.

I cannot IMAGINE what slavery is like! I am saddened to this day by some of the things that I have seen and had done to me while being incarcerated. I am the kind of person who tries to retain information from experiences to improve myself and the way I do things, but I wouldn’t wish that method of gathering knowledge on my worst enemy. People are professional con-artists and experienced in manipulating and controlling people by means of creating representatives to deceive them in order for to obtain something they want or need from them. I trusted the WRONG person. God delivered me from that and I should have left all of that behind me instead of trying to create a family and a future with someone I didn’t even know who came home and started a family with a guy she worked with. Feeling destroyed by everything and wanting to die was where God was FINALLY able to reach me! I was so helpless that I was unable to move and being unable to speak is where you will hear. Everything that I experienced taught me something that will be vital to my position when God finishes grooming me for where He is taking me. Nothing that I have been through was a mistake because God is using it ALL for HIS GLORY!!!!

My Mom Pastor Dr. Lisa Sykes Chilton say’s, “I must be completely transparent”, and that’s exactly how I feel! I have to share the struggles and failures so that people will understand the volume of the deliverance and be able to rejoice knowing that the same God who did it for me can and will do it for them! That’s what’s it’s all about, encouraging one another and winning souls for the Kingdom of Christ! Our life is not our own, it was bought for a price that can never be repaid, so instead of worrying about ourselves we need to seek first the Kingdom of God, be about our Father’s business, and let Him worry about ours.

I went from being a convicted felon, a failure, a disappointment, and a waste of talent, to being a two time honor graduate, a certified welder, a certified HVAC Technician, a recording artist, a writer, a motivational speaker, and more all because I allowed God to be the potter who put me back together again. It’s not about how you fall, but how you dust yourself off and keep your feet moving.

I wanted to provide the link for the Suicide Prevention Awareness Show that we did on GrindHard Radio where I shared my story with the world for the very first time and I pray that someone is blessed by me refusing to be ashamed of what God allowed me to experience, so please check it out and share it!


You can also check out the archived shows at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/grindhard_radio on iTunes, the TuneIn app, http://www.collegeundergroundradio.comor by going to http://WWW.GRINDHARDRADIO.COM

My music and social media sites can be found by typing Virginia Supernova Slim in Google! Twitter:VirginiaSlim7
++Join me for Part 2 of V Slim’s interview as we conclude her story next week! We’ll delve more into the music side of her career and continue to hear her heart about issues that matter to her and the legacy she desires to leave.

September is #SuicidePreventionMonth! You can help by please sharing her story with others who may feel hopeless and ready to give up. As usual thanks for your love and support of authenticitee: inspiration without the other stuff.

Love you to life (not death)

National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-TALK